Open Diary 04

This weekend was so much fun!

My younger cousin Lindsay came over to hang out for a bit on Friday after the kids got done with their online schooling. I was anxious waiting for her to show up, part of me wanted to cancel, but I wanted to see her so bad that I decided to fight against the anxiety. She stayed for several hours, and we spent the whole evening laughing an catching up. I forget sometimes how in sync we are, and how nice it feels to hang out with someone who actually likes the same things that I do. We talked about books and shared recommendations. We talked about movies, mental health, and our marriages. She brought me 3 jigsaw puzzles and a large puzzle book. I really needed this and didn’t realize just how much until she was finally here with me.

Gail LOVED getting to see her. We have a slide the staircase leading up to the kids’ bedroom that Lindsay went down with Gail over and over again. Gail got into Lindsay’s purse and pulled out a handful of tampons. Instead of snatching them back from her, we opened them all up and shot the cotton wads out of the plastic applicators like rocket ships. Gail really got a kick out of that. Because she is autistic, Gail often becomes fixated on things that she likes. She was particularly fixated on the tampons and made Lindsay and I shot them off with her for several hours. Lastly, Lindsay and I took an online test to determine our relationship attachment styles. I love little quizzes like this. I think that I may write a post about attachment styles in the future. My attachment style was 51% avoidant. My secondary style was secure. I felt anxious again when Lindsay left, a few times throughout the night while she was here. However, it was a different kind of anxiety. Instead of feeling overwhelmed I felt jittery and fidgety. I wonder what that’s about.

I spent Saturday decompressing. I made it a point to write as many blog posts as I could. After blogging, I spent the rest of the evening reading, watching t.v, hanging out with my littles, and doing puzzles. On Sunday, my mom came over to play games with me and the kids. We ended up playing a few games of farkle party and chatting for the rest of evening. My mom brought me 2 puzzle books, 2 coloring books, and 3 jigsaw puzzles that I am excited to try out.

The only downside to the weekend was Ross. He spent the past week on a drug binge, spending as little time around the house as possible so I wouldn’t figure it out. However, I’m not stupid and I know his patterns by now. I know what he is doing without him having to be around to tell me. Now that the money and drugs have run out, Ross was resigned to spend the weekend in bed coming down from the week before. It will be interesting to see what he does come Monday when his last unemployment check is deposited. He seems to be sober right now…but will it last? I wrote a longer post about this but due to its personal nature, I have decided to keep it private for now.

How was your weekend? Did you do anything interesting? I would love to hear from you in the comment section below. If you enjoyed this post, please shoot me a like, comment, or follow.

Love Always, AnxiouslyM

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