Open Diary 05

The past few weeks have been okay. My weekends seem to be much more eventful than my weekdays lately. My best friend Angel came over last Sunday to visit. It was nice getting to see her. I love that when she is around, we don’t have to do anything. We can just talk and talk about absolutely nothing. We can go months without talking but we don’t miss a beat once we finally get together. I think that everyone deserves to have a friend like that, though I would like if she and I could catch up more often than we do now.

That Sunday my family and I went to my niece’s first birthday party which took up most of the day. As for the week days between then and now, I haven’t accomplished much. However, Gail lost her first tooth which was pretty exciting. Money holds no appeal for her so the “tooth fairy” had to drive to Wal-Mart to get her some Ryan’s World toy eggs. My new set of colored pencils came in the mail this week which was pretty cool.

I have been busy planning Halloween with my mom. We have decided not to go trick-or-treating this year just to be safe, so we are planning activities to do at home. We are definitely planning on watching spooky movies, baking Halloween cookies, and carving pumpkins. The Nightmare Before Christmas is a must watch. I think I am also going to add Hocus Pocus to the watch list and maybe the second Maleficent movie because Brent still hasn’t seen that one yet. I’m also pretty excited about watching the new series, The Haunting of Bly Manor, at some point in the coming weeks. My mom is planning to come spend the holiday with us and is going to bring over some Halloween themed games for us all to play. Gail and I decorated the house this week which was really fun for her. Halloween is her favorite holiday. She talks about it all year long. I hope that she will be cool with missing out on trick-or-treating.

I am planning on taking my math college placement test online tomorrow, I only have 4 classes and a lab left to take before I can get my associates degree, but I have to pass that placement test before I can move forward. I’m not stupid, but math is so hard for me. I am really hoping to pass this test so I can move on and figure out what I want to do with my life. I am so sick of being stuck. Wish me luck! I will let you know how it goes.

Things with Ross have been normal, which isn’t all that good now days. I feel like he has been using a lot this week but he won’t admit to it. He hasn’t been sleeping much. His coughing has started up again (which I think is from using and lack of sleep) but he refuses to go to the hospital to get it checked out. I feel bad saying this, but I am getting so frustrated with him. I feel bad for him HOWEVER I am sick of watching him kill himself and then make a big dramatic deal about the pain that he is in, but yet he refuses to do anything to help himself. He is gone so often and I do almost everything by myself. I can’t help him and I’m sick of trying to save him from himself. What am I supposed to do? I’m at my wits end. I don’t know if it is time to try harder or time to walk away. Did he not believe me when I said that I would leave if he continued this mess or does he just not care? I guess I will never know what goes through his head.

How was your week? I would love to hear from you in the comment section below. If you enjoyed this post, please shoot me a like, comment, or follow.

Love Always, AnxiouslyM

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