Open Diary 06

Last week was pretty low key. Some good news though, I passed half of my math college placement test! Granted, I failed the second half but hey, progress is progress. With my results as they are right now, I can move forward and take my college math and science classes along with a supplementary math class to reinforce what I’m learning in my primary math class. The down side to this is, the supplementary class isn’t offered online and I don’t have a car, money, or a baby sitter to ensure that I can be in class every day. However, I still have one more retest available. Hopefully I will pass it next time and all of this worry will be for nothing. If worst comes to worst, I will just have to wait a little bit until I can get my car fixed and get a job.

I have been eager to gain some more independence, but I don’t love the idea of trying to find a job. Unfortunately, I really need money lol. If I don’t make any changes, things will always be as they are now and that won’t do. I’m just going to focus on taking slow baby steps towards self-sufficiency. Eventually something is bound to work out. I just get so overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done to get my life back on track that I don’t know where to start. I need to get my degree, get a job, fix my car, and save money. I just feel stuck. I also don’t really know what direction my future is going to take. Am I going to stay here or am I going to go off on my own…I don’t know?

In other news, we are almost ready for Halloween. I’ve gotten our pumpkins and party snacks ready to go. Gail got her costume, she is going to be Wonder Woman for the party. She loves her costume so much, that she has only taken it off to go to sleep and to wash it. Brent is older and is over they hype of dressing up, but he said he would let me try to paint his face. Now all that’s left is to pick out the movies we are going to watch and get the party games ready.

My mother-in-law and I took the kids to a pumpkin patch over the weekend just to get them out of the house. I had already bought our pumpkins at the grocery store and there weren’t any games or hay rides there. It was something to do, but it was defiantly an anticlimactic outing.

Things with Ross are still rocky. He went on another 4 day bender last week and then spent a few days in bed resting. I ended up having to blow off an outing with my family because he had kept me up all night making weird moaning and whooping noises in the garage. He actually admitted to me that he is still using. I appreciated the honesty but it isn’t like he is showing any signs of stopping. I’ve grown to trust his patterns more than his words. At this point, I think that the only thing that’s gong to fix this is for him to switch up his patterns and get his shit together. He says that he knows that he needs to do better, but I am still waiting for that to actually happen.

Lastly, I am thinking of creating a Bible study / spiritual study blog separate from my main blog. I don’t know if anything will come of it…it’s just an idea that I’m playing around with.

How has your week been? Do you have any cool Halloween plans? Do you have any kid and teen friendly Halloween movie suggestions for me? I would love to hear from you in the comment section below. If you enjoyed this post, please shoot me a like, comment, or follow.

Love Always, AnxiouslyM

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